Something To Talk About
by What-a-Beautiful-Letdown
Summary: "I can't see them together. Ever. They've got nothing in common!" If that isn't a challenge for the marauding Remus Lupin and lighthearted Nymphadora Tonks to cause mischief, what is? Inspired by Bonnie Raitt's "Something To Talk About".
1. People Are Talking

**Hello, and thank you for reading!**

**Disclaimer: _Harry Potter _does not belong to me, unfortunately. That's J.K. Rowling's masterpeice. Also, the wonderful "Something To Talk About" is Bonnie Raitt's, not mine. I'm poor and own nothing.**

**I absolutely love the song "Something To Talk About", and it's got a certain Tonks and Lupin vibe. This was inspired. :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter One: People Are Talking<strong>

"Tonks, dear? Is that you?"

Molly's voice echoed throughout 12 Grimmauld and reached me in the entrance hall. I unwound my scarf, side stepped the troll's foot umbrella stand, and found the source of her call in (where else?) the kitchen.

"Yes, Molly. Sorry I'm later than I said I would be, Scrimegour dumped some last minute paperwork on me."

I received a motherly smile and a hug. The Weasley matriarch was orchestrating knives, wooden spoons, spices, and other culinary supplies to dance around the kitchen.

"Would you mind running upstairs and fetching me a hand towel from that linen closet on the second floor? I would do it myself, but…" she called over a whistling teapot and a simmering pot.

I dodged a congo line of onions, potatoes, and carrots to make my escape. I passed by several spare bedrooms, the bathroom, and finally reached the closet that Molly kept stocked with a wide variety of towels. Grabbing a red and white checked hand towel, I turned to head back downstairs. Laughter sounded from one of the bedrooms that I had previously thought to be empty. Unable to resist myself, I leaned against the rough wood of the door and listened in.

"Just think, Krum would lumber around your house, putting 'Vs' in everything, and he'd probably demand to only eat raw meat to connect with his barbarian ancestors."

A few snorts of laughter erupted at Ron's prediction.

"Honestly, Ronald. We're not _that_ serious. While he was at Hogwarts, we were quite casual. Now, we're really no more than penpals."

"You can't be serious, Hermione."

"And why not?"

"Well, it's just… you seemed so happy. And it was your first relationship, we aren't ever supposed to really get over that, right?"

Silence filled the room. I guessed that it was the awkward sexual tension we all saw between Ron and Hermione that they were oblivious to.

"You know who else is an odd couple?"

"Harry, we were not an odd couple, just a little bit -"

"Professor Lupin and Tonks."

My ears prickled and I shifted my weight from one side to the other. Where on Earth would they get the idea that Remus and I were together? It's not like we're around one another every waking minute of every day.

"They _do _spend a lot of time together, after Order meetings and just lounging around here."

"Whenever she's clumsy, he makes it right and she blushes like crazy."

"She's clumsy all the time, Ginny."

"Well then they're always flirty."

Oh no. Uh-uh. We most definitely do _not _flirt. Well, maybe a little bit. Most certainly not all of the time, in any case. Banter doesn't count… right?

"Ron, you've been really quiet."

"I just don't think that they're a couple."

"Even if they're not together yet, they're at least working in that direction. It's a process."

"Right, like you'd understand. You're-"

"Younger? I'm also a girl, so I have a soul and understand these things."

I stifled a laugh. Growing up with six older brothers benefited Ginny, if her excellent sense of humor was any proof.

"There's no way they'd ever be together. Ever. They have nothing in common!"

Hermione was right; that boy does have the emotional range of a teaspoon.

"Haven't you heard the phrase 'opposites attract', Ron?"

"Hermione, that's just to make girls think they have a hope with whatever guy they fancy, even if they are different."

Before they could begin their usual bickering and arguing, Harry stepped in and brought the attention back to the important topic they had been discussing. Namely, my love life.

"Don't you guys think that it _is_ kind of awkward? I mean, he was our professor."

"I honestly can't remember that year at all… just throwing this out there, don't have a hippogriff, but from a female perspective, well - Hermione? You, you understand what I'm getting at, right?" The girl in question gave a nervous giggle before responding.

"What Ginny is trying to say is that most women wouldn't find the idea of a relationship with Professor Lupin repulsive in the least."

I could imagine the bulging eyes and startled looks upon Ron and Harry's faces. Hermione's statement was slightly inaccurate, though, because -

"I think most women would be repulsed when they find out that he's a bloody _werewolf_!"

"I suppose it's lucky for the Professor that Tonks isn't most women."

Ginny did have a point there. Sirius had shared (to Remus's horror) stories of past relationships that ended abruptly once his secret got out. She was also correct in assuming that I didn't care; Remus and I were good friends - and nothing more - even though I knew of his condition.

"Could you imagine meeting such a gentleman, and then discovering that he's a Dark Creature? He's the most polite wizard I believe I've ever met-"

"-and not that terrible looking-"

"-and obviously brave-"

"-and, well, can you imagine the wolfish side in… in bed?" I blushed and felt the roots of my hair turning scarlet as well. The room was silent, and then the boys burst into laughter.

"Ginny!"

"Well, you know you were thinking it!" Hermione couldn't seem to deny this, and the laughter increased.

"And Tonks, she could look like anyone you wanted her to. Merlin, the possibilities!" Ron added, a hopeful tone in his voice. I shuddered a bit; oh, how many boys I had hexed for having the same fantasies.

"I still can't see them together. I wonder what Mum's cooking for dinner. I'm starved."

"Aren't you always?"

I startlingly realized that the creaking of floorboards and shuffling feet meant that they were leaving, and that should probably move before I was caught eavesdropping. Surprisingly, I managed to hasten down the stairs and into the kitchen before the teenagers exited; Auror training must have helped more than I thought.

"Oh, thank you dear." Molly took the towel and continued preparing dinner, and I went upstairs to take a quick shower before mealtime. When I returned to the kitchen, I found that the only empty seat was next to Remus. Upon sitting down, I mumbled a greeting in response to his weaken-your-knees smile and 'good evening'. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny exchanged smirks, and I resisted the desire to blend into the wall behind me.

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><p>"Nymphadora? Are you alright?"<p>

I became alert once again to my surroundings as someone, Remus, I assumed, sank into the library sofa next to me. I had been replaying the conversation I had overheard earlier in my mind.

"_You know who else is an odd couple?"_

"_Professor Lupin and Tonks."_

"_Well then they're always flirty."_

"_They have nothing in common!"_

"…_can you imagine the wolfish side in… in bed?" _

"It's Tonks, Remus. And, yeah, I'm alright."

He didn't seem convinced, but nodded anyway.

"You were unusually silent at dinner. Something's bothering you."

"I, well, you- you're going to think me foolish." I sighed, and sank back further into the upholstery.

"You forget that I grew up with your cousin," he replied with a laugh. "Surely whatever you're upset about isn't nearly as loony."

I bit my lip in hesitation. It was just teenagers' gossip, right? It wouldn't harm to tell him.

"I was on the second floor when I heard voices from one of the rooms. I listened in, and it was Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. They were talking about… us."

"Us?" he questioned with a raised brow. "You mean, us individually, or us as a-"

"-couple, yeah. Ron was saying he couldn't ever see us together, but the other three- oh, it's stupid. They think we're together."

He said nothing, and looked down at his folded hands. We sat like this for a few moments, then Remus chuckled most uncharacteristically. When he looked up, his blue eyes held a mischievous glint I had never seen before.

"That sounds a bit like a challenge, don't you think?"

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><p><strong>Review, if you are so compelled (and kind) to do so. I'm not a '10 reviews or no more story!' kind of author, because if I'm going to write, I'm going to write for my enjoyment and yours, not just for attention and reviews. But they're still nice, criticism or compliments. :) This *was* typed at a late hour of the night, so if there's any errors, feel free to point them out. <strong>


	2. Talking About People

**Thank's so much for the reviews, story alerts, and favorites! :) I was really excited when I checked my email. Also, the fact that (pen name) Teddy R. Lupin put this on alert, I think I almost passed out. Hashtag fangirlmuch?**

**Disclaimer: I'm still poor. Still don't own Harry Potter or "Something To Talk About".**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Talking About People<strong>

"What do you mean, a challenge?" My mind was racing. Although Remus was a gentleman in the extreme, he was also a Marauder, which I kept forgetting. The threat of a war, as well as the majority of society's blatant dislike of his kind, caused him to repress the jokester side of himself. A Marauder might do things with me to make the children's jaws fall off with shock. A Marauder might do things to make me blush from my hair to my toes. A Marauder would probably do all of the above, and enjoy himself immensely whilst doing them.

"To teach the children a lesson about having an open mind and to illustrate what eccentricity truly is."

"Merlin, you just sounded like a textbook." I feigned a yawn and ran a hand through my short pink hair. He smirked at me, and I couldn't help but to grin widely back.

"Now, if this prank is to be successful-"

"- wait, who said anything about a prank?"

"I did." Remus's face wore an expression that clearly said to keep up and not interrupt anymore; the inner Marauder had broken loose. "If it is to be a success, which it will be, you should tell me exactly what the children were saying."

Oh, Merlin. He obviously just wants to make me the most embarrassed person in Britain. I gulped, and he cleared his throat expectantly. The shelves of books suddenly became quite interesting, and they required my immediate attention. A hand rested on my forearm; sparks erupted across my vision. The man next to me then spoke quietly.

"They're just teenagers, none of it is probably true. They thrive on gossiping; surely you remember those days?"

A small smile worked its way across my face. A nagging voice in the back of my head told me that if they were true, even in the slightest, he'd think me a madwoman. Dating when a war's bound to be on the horizon? He'd laugh at you! _Oi, shut it back there._

"Ron was mocking Hermione's relationship with Viktor, then Harry brought up another odd couple, us. Ginny and Hermione began gushing about… some of your finer qualities." His eyebrow arched in what I could imagine was shock and amusement; they had been his students, after all. "Ron disagreed, the end."

"Finer qualities?"

I closed my eyes. I should have never uttered the words.

"They could be vital in our work."

"You know, polite, ruggedly handsome, brave, funny, intelligent, a great wizard." I sighed. So I embellished the list a bit, so what? "And, er… sexy."

I'm fairly certain that he choked on his own spit. He was coughing and spluttering, so I clapped his back a few times.

"Remus? Don't give Sirius's mother the satisfaction and die here. Kreacher would be over the moon, as well."

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I just wasn't expecting that last one." He chuckled, then his tone became more serious. "And, for the sake of the mission, could you at least act to feel the same?"

I'm sure my face portrayed my confusion and embarrassment perfectly. Act to feel the same?

"Well, I already agree with them," his eyes widened and I quickly added, "on a purely platonic level, of course. What did you have in mind?"

"We're going to fake a relationship. Take all the correct steps to fool the children into believing that we're together, then tell them that they've been had before they head back to Hogwarts."

It was so ingenious, so simple, so delightfully devilish! Hogwarts must have been more like a fairground than a school when he and his friends attended.

"Will Sirius be in on this?" I laughed when he groaned and put his head in his hands.

"He could either ruin this or make it so much better… probably the former." Then his face lit up with that adorable mischievous smirk. "But, he can find out on his own."

"Find out what on my own?" My cousin strutted into the room, an apple missing a bite in one hand. Remus and I exchanged glances. _Speak of the devil._ I tugged on one of the sleeves of my robe and quickly improvised.

"Er, Kreacher… Kreacher's been into your… porn, yeah. He was pushing your stockpile into the fireplace in your room, saying something about following his Missus's orders. I don't think he's found the box in your closet yet, though." Sirius's gray eyes widened, and the apple fell from his hand.

"Even from the grave, that woman is trying to suck all the happiness from my life! KREACHER!"

I turned back towards Remus, then we both began laughing hysterically. He clutched onto my thigh amidst his fit, but I barely noticed. I was leaning onto his shoulder and my whole body shook with uncontained mirth.

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><p>Hermione closed the library door and turned to her three companions, who had also been looking in. She had a smug grin on her face.<p>

"Well, Ronald?"

The redhead looked uneasy and rubbed the back of his neck with a hand.

"Yeah, alright, they can laugh and joke around. I suppose they have a relationship with Sirius in common." Hermione began to nod and spiel off about how she was always right when Ron's eyes began to shine with excitement.

"But that doesn't mean anything! Harry and Tonks could have that same thing in common! So could loads of the Order!"

"You are so oblivious!" She huffed and turned on her heel to head upstairs, and Ginny followed.

"I'm going to go see if there's any of that pudding left, you coming, Harry?"

The boy nodded, but remained rooted to the spot. His eyes were wide with shock.

"I think she's much better with Professor Lupin than me. I couldn't handle the clumsiness like he does."

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><p><strong>Sorry, this one is a bit shorter. But, you got some Sirius humor, so don't hate. :) And just to clarify, the kids had just seen them covering their tracks with Sirius and laughing; they're still in the dark. Criticism? Comments?<strong>


	3. Lovers, Kept Undercover

**Sorry for the wait. I started this after I uploaded chapter two, but I actually put time into this one. *shocker*. It's also over two-thousand words. I'm kind of pleased with the way this one turned out. Life Lesson: Don't ever apply for college. And don't even think about looking for scholarships. It will suck your soul out, much like a Dementor or Walburga Black.**

**Disclaimer: In the span of two days, I haven't come into possession of _Harry Potter_ or "Something To Talk About".**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three: Lovers, Kept Undercover<strong>

Three anxious days after first plotting with Remus, we had an Order meeting. I entered with Kingsley and Mad-Eye, but purposefully held the door and hung behind in the entrance hall. Remus came to greet me, as planned. He offered a Marauder-ish grin; I tried my best to push aside the nerves and return one. My emotions must have been clear, because he reached down to give my hand a reassuring squeeze. Hopefully the dim lighting concealed my blush.

"The meeting won't start for another five minutes or so."

"Oh, alright. Should we review the plan one last time?" A chuckle. He thinks I'm stupid, I'm sure of it.

"Order meetings are down-time. They can't see us, so there's really no point in continuing the charade. For Phase One, we're going to take it easy. Lots of laughing, or giggling, in your case," I scowled (giggling, _really_?), "and just be seen in closer proximity to one another. Not glued at the hip, mind you. Lastly, eye contact, eye contact, eye contact."

"If I'm looking at you instead of where I'm going, I won't survive much longer."

A quiet laugh escaped his lips and I looked down as if to emphasis watching my feet. Before I knew what was happening, his hands gently pushed my body towards the wall behind me. My back was flat against the peeling wallpaper; he was casually leaning his left forearm next to my shoulder so that his back was facing the door. Our faces were visible to anyone watching from further down the hallway. My eyes widened and I arched an eyebrow. He couldn't notice my racing heartbeat or my dry mouth, but if he grabbed my hand the sweaty palms would betray me just the same.

"Mr. Lupin? Might I ask w-what you're doing?" I tried to get the words out as saucily as I could.

"Well, my dearest, it seems that a certain young Weasley is watching us from behind the corner. It would be a shame if we sent her back upstairs without anything interesting to report."

Remus had leaned across me to whisper in my left ear, and the sensation of his breath on my neck caused a shiver to run down my spine. For a moment, I thought he would kiss me, and my heart stopped. Then he cleared his throat and straightened up.

"The meeting will start soon, we should go in."

My legs felt weak from our recent proximity, but thankfully he was a gentleman enough to guide me past the umbrella stand.

"Hello, Professor. Hi, Tonks."

"Good evening."

"Wotcher, Ginny."

The grin on her face let us know that she had seen our moment together; mission accomplished. As I entered the kitchen turned meeting room, my peripheral vision allowed me to glimpse her hurrying upstairs. Remus held out a chair for me and sat between myself and Sirius. Just a few seconds later, Dumbledore and Snape entered, and our meeting began.

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><p>Ginny knocked on Harry and Ron's door, then barged in without waiting for a response.<p>

"Oi, Ginny! What if we hadn't been dressed?"

She rolled her eyes and sat on one bed next to Hermione; Ron was sprawled on the other one, and Harry was looking warily through a carton of Bertie Bott's on the floor.

"Guess who I just saw getting close in the entrance hall?"

Hermione's eyes widened and she grinned madly. "Tonks and Professor Lupin?"

"Yes! Caught in the act… of just talking. They were about this close though." Ginny illustrated her point by slipping to the floor and leaning close to Harry. As she returned to her seat next to Hermione, she smirked at the older boy's slight blush. Ron, who had seen the nearness of the two, sat up so abruptly that he fell off the bed and landed with a thud behind Harry, who spilled the candy across the wooden floor.

"He… he must've been wiping dirt off her face or something. They're not-"

"-together? My dear brother, I do believe that you are in denial."

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><p>After the long-winded report from Snape on Voldemort's possible plans and how we should counteract them, the meeting was adjourned. Having meetings every week really seemed unnecessarily much and made them increasingly more boring each time. Before we all left, Dumbledore proposed that we switch to a every other week schedule, and it was quickly seconded and passed. I was the only Order member not living in Grimmauld to stay for dinner other than Arthur and Molly. In an attempt to be polite, I rose to ask if I could help with preparing the meal, but I felt a hand on my shoulder. Remus pulled me back down into my seat.<p>

"Have a sit, Nymphadora. We've got some acting to do."

I nodded, drew in a deep breath, and let out the most uncharacteristic, cringe-worthy, high-pitched, flirty _giggle_ that I had ever heard. Remus looked a bit taken aback, and Sirius studied me as if I had just sprouted another head. Then Remus smiled and put an arm around the back of my chair, and Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny entered the kitchen. I knew the dilemma that Remus was struggling with, because I had the same problem: prank children or avoid the wrath of my cousin. Apparently, Remus wasn't concerned with life and limb, because the loon stretched out his long fingers and tickled my side. I bit my lip, but the laughter spilled out anyway. Sirius looked as if someone had poured cold water over him, and kept glancing from Remus to myself. I lifted my face to whisper in Remus's ear.

"Can I talk to you in private for a moment? Now." He looked sheepish as we both got up; he went into the library and I followed after nodding at the teenagers. Nobly, he held the door open while I crossed the room to stand by the fireplace. As soon as I heard the door close, I muttered a silencing charm and turned on him.

"I never, ever want to hear that noise coming from myself ever again. I sounded like a schoolgirl!"

"Nymphadora, I'm afraid the student-professor roleplay is going to have to wait a bit."

Oh, how badly I wanted to wipe (kiss?) that boyish smile off of his face. I settled for moving closer and emphasizing my next points with sharp prods to his chest with my wand.

"Firstly, it's Tonks. Secondly, that was like hearing Sirius's words from your mouth: highly disturbing." That's a lie. You enjoyed that side of him. "Thirdly, we can and will do this without giggling. Fourthly… fourth?… I think Sirius believes we're together, too."

He glanced down at my wand and lifted his hands above his shoulders in mock surrender.

"Firstly, _Dora_, calling you Tonks seems a tad out of place in a relationship. Secondly, Sirius has confided in me that he prefers the idea of prisoner-Dementor roleplay, Merlin only knows why." I almost gagged; that was too much. Remus continued with a smirk. "Thirdly, you can stop giggling, it is a bit out-of-character. Lastly, I think he's onto us as well."

"He's going to kill you."

"Why?"

"His best mate, in his words, 'shagging' his little cousin and you didn't even tell him. Imagine if Sirius lived in your house-"

"-that I don't have-"

"-and started having romantic relations with your favorite relative-"

"-not the least bit conceited, are we?"

"-in your own home. Wouldn't you be a bit peeved?"

Remus seemed to take a moment to ponder this. Finally, he nodded. "Yes… yes, I suppose."

"Good. Act surprised when he corners you after dinner. Speaking of, let's go have a nice, giggle-free meal, shall we?"

"Alright, Dora."

One last giggle escaped (willingly, to my horror) as I walked past him towards the kitchen. What was this man doing to me? I tried to sit at the opposite end of the table from Sirius, but he had his own plans.

"Ah, my closest friend whom I trust with everything. Moony, come sit down here. You too, Nymph." His smile was much too large to be genuine. However, Remus and I exchanged a nervous glance as we sat down. I mustered a smile in Sirius's direction. Molly began levitating platters of food onto the table and everyone else soon filed in. After I had served myself mashed potatoes, a piece of chicken, boiled carrots, and bread, I made sure food was constantly in route to my mouth or being chewed to avoid anything beyond minimal conversation. Hermione and Ginny, who were sitting across from me, began discussing possible career choices.

"What's it like being an Auror, Tonks?"

I swallowed a mouthful of carrot to politely answer. "Dangerous, but I assume you figured that out with your common sense. Training is more strenuous than actually being certified, I believe. Training is practice and ridiculous amounts of exercise daily, whereas actual Aurors only go into the field when there's a need, so we're not each called out every single day. There's quite a bit of paperwork and desk time involved. I've gotten paper cuts more often than I've been cursed since I began working there. And, of course, your social life is restricted terribly. If you belong to an underground organization, you have a bit more… of… one…"

My sentence trailed off at the end; there were letters forming in my mashed potatoes. A quick glance to my left revealed that while Remus had been carrying on a conversation about Kreacher with Sirius, he had also been listening in on mine. _Don't forget: laughter, proximity, eye contact._ With a slight grimace, I "accidentally" bumped my hand into Remus's forearm.

"Oh, sorry. Could you pass me the turnips?"

"Certainly, Dora." Sirius made a gagging noise, and I saw the two girls exchange a curious glance. As cliché as I felt, I managed to keep eye contact. After I scooped a serving onto my plate, I handed the bowl back to him with a smile and word of thanks.

"So that's what you're considering, then? An Auror?" I returned to my own food and conversation and noticed that Remus and Sirius were talking again.

"Well, seeing as I would have the credentials and the experience," my eyebrows knitted together in confusion and she explained, "Every year, the Dark Arts seem to draw themselves towards Harry, and myself by association. I highly doubt I'll go into it, but it wouldn't hurt to keep my options open."

I nodded and ate a bit of my food before asking Ginny what she was interested in.

"Professional Quidditch would be great, but Mum probably wouldn't approve. I think Bill's work is pretty cool, being a Curse Breaker, but I wouldn't want to be so far from home so much of the time. Something to keep me interested, and not in too much of a routine."

I nodded again as I swallowed some chicken. "That's what I wanted, something fun. I ended up with a cubicle anyway." The girls laughed as I pushed bits of food around the plate. Remus was writing in my potatoes again. _I can't listen to your cousin's complaints about Kreacher and his family much longer. _They became smoothed out again, like a chalkboard. _I heard this all throughout my Hogwarts years… _Wiped clean. _…and whenever he gets drunk… _Cleared again. _Rescue me? _I smiled (at my plate; anyone watching must think I'm losing it) and began waving my wand under the table. Wordlessly, I focused on his own hill of the mashed tubers. _This is quite a fun and efficient means of communication. _A sharp swish of my wrist erased what I'd written. _Since you asked so nicely, I'll comply. _With a smirk and an upward twitch of my wand, I sent a splatter of potatoes onto his cheek. My left hand, which had been maneuvering my fork around my plate, stopped short of taking a scoop of my own side dish. _Not what I was thinking, but alright._ He turned to face me, and I slipped my wand into my pocket.

"Did you look through any of the Thoreau that I passed along yet?"

"No, I haven't managed to find the time. Remus, you've got some potato on your face." Now we had attracted the eyes of not only my cousin and Hermione and Ginny, but Harry and Ron as well. I lifted my napkin to his cheek and wiped off the offending vegetable. I allowed my ring and small fingers to run along the slightly stubbly skin behind the napkin. His eyes, which hadn't left mine, widened slightly at the contact, and a small smile curved my lips upward.

"Got it." My voice was almost silent, and he cleared his throat.

"Dear Nymph, we haven't talked all dinner! How's work been?"

"Oh, you know, the usual." I tore off bite-sized chunks of my bread as I angled myself towards Sirius. "Just endless mountains of paperwork about a certain escaped convict, fruitless searches for said convict. Scrimgeour is getting desperate, and frustrated with his Aurors. It's almost enough to make me turn you in."

Letting out a bark-like laugh, he leaned back in his chair.

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><p>After dinner, everyone had left the table satisfied and separated into their usual cliques. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were relaxing in Ron and Harry's room, as had become the norm for them. They were animatedly discussing the items of their recent obsession, Tonks and Professor Lupin.<p>

"Did you see them staring at one another?"

Hermione nodded enthusiastically. "I thought it was sweet. They're so perfect with one another."

"And the way she wiped the mashed potatoes off his face?" Ron seemed unfazed by it all. "My mum does that, not bloody romantic at all."

"Language, Ronald. And her hand lingered in his cheek, it was cute."

"They each had a hand under the table the whole time, I bet they were holding hands."

"No, I don't think so."

"Explain, genius." Ginny requested while plaiting her friend's hair.

"Well, it was both of their right hands, so Tonks would've been reaching across her lap. I think they were using their wands under the table. Didn't anyone else notice their potatoes moving?"

Ron and Harry shook their heads; they were in way too deep with this relationship sleuth thing.

"Wait, so…" Realization dawned on Harry's face. "So she threw the potatoes on his face so she could clean them off?"

"Maybe, Harry. Have you done your History of Magic essay yet?"

Ron snorted. "Hermione, you're the only one who actually does the summer homework."

"Hey, not true. I've just been waiting to do it, the Dursleys don't exactly approve. The last week of August sounds excellent."

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><p><strong>Come to think of it, I've never actually seen a napkin in a <em>Potter<em> movie besides in the Dursley's house and maybe in the restaurant and café in HBP and DH1. I guess because they could use magic to clean up? Oh well, that's nowhere near as flirtatious. :)**

**I loved the mashed potatoes communication... very thrilled with myself for thinking that up.**


	4. Maybe They're Seeing Something We Don't

**This chapter is in both Tonks' and Remus' point of view, just trying it out. I tried for the "That 70's Show" split-screen mirror conversation effect, please let me know how it worked (or if it didn't). It's a little heavy on the dialogue, but I love writing conversations. Figuring out who's saying what shouldn't be too hard. Sorry for not updating in a while, I've been a bum, I know.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own "Something To Talk about" or Harry Potter. **

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><p><strong>Chapter Four: Maybe They're Seeing Something We Don't, Darling<strong>

While the children were mulling over the night's events upstairs, more serious conversations were occurring downstairs. Sirius had practically dragged Remus into the drawing room and Molly had politely coerced me into helping with meal cleanup in the kitchen.

"Molly, that was a great-"

"Dear, let's skip the small-talk," the Weasley matriarch said as she charmed the dirty pots and pans to wash themselves. "You know why you're here."

I silently thanked Alastor Moody for having such high acting expectations of his trainees as I moved around the table, busying my hands with stacking plates and bowls. "Actually, I'm not so sure. What's the matter?"

A roll of brown eyes and a snort were the only response I received as the dishware that I had been clearing away levitated over to the sink, each piece landing with a soft _clink_. Silence reigned for a moment, then I cleared her throat.

"I suppose… well, I assume you want to talk about… you want me to…"

A raised eyebrow hinted for me to continue. I ran a hand through my signature cropped hair and rubbed the back of my neck before speaking.

"I guess you want me to apologize."

Molly's jaw slacked a little in shock, and she nearly guided the forks into the wall instead of the soapy water. "For what?"

"For setting a bad example in front of the children. I shouldn't be throwing food." I flopped rather ungracefully in a chair.

The red-haired woman laughed and, all the spellwork having been laid for the kitchen to tidy up after itself, sat herself down as well. "That's not at all what I wanted to discuss. Close, though."

I played idly with a patch on my jeans for a few moments. After deciding that I couldn't avoid it any longer, I sighed.

"Remus?"

"Spot on, Tonks. Are the two of you -"

"Yes."

"And you do know that he's -"

"Yes."

"And he's okay with -"

"Yes."

"So you're _actually_ together?"

I only nodded and smiled; Molly returned a smile and clapped her hands together once as she stood.

"Well, dear," she let a hand rest on my shoulder, "I'm overjoyed for the two of you. Although, you both were the last to see it coming. I suppose Kingsley's won the pool."

Molly left the kitchen, and a slow, genuine smile spread across my face.I jumped up, overturning the chair, and pumped the air with my left fist. My foot hooked around one of the legs of the chair, and I spiraled towards the floor.

"Oh bugger-"

My exclamation was cut off, however, as two arms stopped my downward movement. The breath was temporarily lost from my lungs upon the impact, and my eyes snapped up to see Remus.

"-it." The last word was murmured, hardly a soft whisper.

The werewolf stood me on my feet with a smirk and then set the offending chair upright.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." He pulled two butterbeers out of a cabinet and set them both on the table. Sliding into the chair previously occupied by Molly, he removed both of the caps and took a sip of his. We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, then Remus cast a _muffliato _charm.

"So how was your interrogation?"

"I think we've pulled the cotton over Molly's eyes as well."

"She believes we're together? No clue that we're acting?"

"Not that she let on. Did you know they had bets on when we would get together?"

"Sirius told me just a few moments ago."

"I told you he'd want to talk to you!" I grinned. "How'd that go?"

"Not as terribly as it could have gone."

* * *

><p>The children had flocked upstairs, Molly had led Tonks to the kitchen, and Sirius was ready to pounce. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and jovially addressed me.<p>

"Moony! My oldest, dearest, kindest, smartest -"

"What do you want, Padfoot?"

Sirius placed his left hand over his chest and pulled a pained expression as we reached the library and sat down.

"A blow straight to the heart, Remus! It hurts me to think that the first conclusion you arrive at is that I require something of you."

"At Hogwarts it was my brains, then it was my ability to run errands for you, now I can only assume that you've reached your senses and want my body as well."

"Oh, it's something to do with your body, alright," Sirius waggled his eyebrows as he mysteriously responded.

I merely lifted an eyebrow and stared at him steadily, waiting for elaboration.

"Gotten to second base recently?"

This caught me completely off guard. I supposed I should have been prepared for absolutely anything, seeing as it was Sirius I was conversing with.

"Excuse me?" I managed to splutter out.

"I asked you if you've gotten to second base recently."

"I can't say I have, but I don't see how it's your concern."

"Not my concern? Au contraire, mustn't I watch out for my family?"

"Your family?" I added an air of innocence to my voice.

"Well, I need to make sure that dear Nymphadora's needs are met properly and that she's with the utmost care, and that she's not -"

"Let's not have this conversation, shall we?" I knew that getting Sirius on board with our act was crucial, but that definitely didn't mean that it would be comfortable.

"Alright," Sirius conceded - too easily. "Just as long as you tell me details of how things are so far."

"Well, we have established our status as a… couple. And along with what you saw at dinner, that's it."

"That's all? You're not censoring out any steamy moments?"

"No, Sirius, I promise," I rolled my eyes and skimmed idly through a paperback that had been lying next to the armchair I was occupying.

"Well, then. This has been not as delightful as I was hoping," Sirius sighed and leaned back, propping his feet on the ottoman he waved over with a lazy flick of his wand.

"What? You wanted to hear about Dora and I having…" The amused flicker on his face didn't escape me, and I felt a blush creeping up my neck. "Erm… rounding the bases?"

"Merlin's balls, no! I'm not that much of a pervert!" I noted with relief that Sirius was genuinely disgusted by my suggestion. "I just enjoy watching you squirm."

"And you think that sex does that to me?"

"Well, no. I like to imagine that you stop over thinking everything and let your instincts take control. But I do know that talking about sex makes you squirm. You flinched when you said it just now."

"Sex?" I sighed internally when I realized that I did flinch slightly; I made a mental note to fix this habit. "Whatever. Drop it, Padfoot. I like to think that I'm a gentleman, and I wouldn't discuss it with you even if Dora and I reach that stage in our relationship." I stood and made my way to the door.

"_When_ you reach that stage. You guys are gonna get married one day, I know it." Sirius smugly commented.

I snorted and walked out of the door, heading for the kitchen.

"Wait, Moony," He called after me; I turned to face him. "So you two are together, for real?"

"Yes, we are," I was such an excellent liar, it would have been shameful had that talent not saved my skin countless times.

"Damn, King wins the bet."

I chuckled and shook my head and I continued to my destination.

* * *

><p>"So Sirius thinks that we're together, too?" I smiled widely. Remus nodded in response. "Excellent! Want to do something to celebrate?"<p>

"I can't, sorry," Remus sighed and looked over at the grandfather clock. "I've got patrol tonight in that pub Dung thought he saw some Death Eaters in. I should be meeting Moody there soon."

"Oh, alright. Goodnight, Remus." I gave him a small smile, but he must have sensed my disappointment, because he offered a hand.

"Allow me to walk me to your room?"

"Sure, thanks," My smile was wider this time, and I took his hand. He wove his fingers through mine and led the way upstairs, and my insides leaped at the minor reached my room on the second floor all too quickly, and I turned to face him.

"I've got tomorrow off… are we still on for, you know," I jerked my head towards Harry and Ron's room where the children were congregated, whispering behind the closed door.

"Oh, oh, yes. Of course," He grinned. He flicked his eyes in the direction of the now cracked door and hesitantly leaned down to kiss my forehead. "Goodnight, Dora. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Remus." We exchanged knowing smirks as our audience tried to close the door as quietly as possible. I entered my temporary bedroom and grimaced slightly at my appearance in the mirror hanging on the wall. "Phase Two tomorrow… time to get physical, physical."

**Review? :) This one's really short, but I kind of fizzled towards the end.**


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